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Things that pi** you off when cleaning your car



Gally

Formerly Mashed up egg in a cup
ClioSport Club Member
I recieved some choice questions after this...

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  1.5 Clio Dynamique
the usual

'' you can do mine next''
''you missed abit''

but the one that annoys me is my dad telling me how to wash it...........but still washing it wrong! and using my wheel brush on the paintwork, i could of cryed!!
 

Gally

Formerly Mashed up egg in a cup
ClioSport Club Member
Indeed mate. It was wiped down once at the show. ;)
 
  RS6 C7
After spending all day cleaning/claying/waxing etc, i get to the stage where my car was perfect and my f**king dad gets the jetwash out and blasts all the s**t off his car all over mine :mad:

Getting halfway through and thinking f**k this!

Drying my car with a towel and 2 minutes later water drips come down form the mirros, side strips and rear wiper...

When it really hot and the wax wont buff off.

Watching my dad clean his 911 with a brush which he uses to sweep the garage floor and clean his wheels..
 
Neighbour: Ooh that looks lovely, you can do mine when you've done!
Bollo: Can I? aww thanks!
Neighbour: Yeah of course..
Bollo: £200
Neighbour: *heart attack*


I am not a detailer, I just have a shiny car and like to keep it that way.
 

DB.

  BMW 440i
1. Fact Im cleaning it.
2. Smart comments, doesn't happen often though.
3. Noticing defects in the paintwork
4. Knocking the bucket of water over/on my foot. Happened a few times now lol
 

Darren S

ClioSport Club Member
  • Shitbag walking glue-sticks (horses) having the mammoth of all dumps about 3ft in front of my car.
  • Shitbag walking glue-sticks freaking out on the lane for 10 seconds because they've seen a pebble or something. Again, near the car.
  • Shitbag walking glue-stick riders saying "Do you mind putting the hose down - you'll scare the horse." Instantly I wish the hose trigger in my hand was attached to a bolt-gun instead.
  • Shitbag walking glue-stick riders getting extremely close to the car when it's washed. Fcuk off with your equestrian piss-smelling, s**t-dumping, fly-attracting donkeys. Just fcuk off!
  • Pressure in the water pipe blowing off the hose at the tap. FFS!
  • Some weapon nearby deciding to start circular-sawing through house-bricks when I've just got the PC out. Nob!
  • Comments of "I use some Fairy in a bucket - it's never done my cars any harm". Really? Remind me to recommend a Brillo pad, dipped in vinegar, lemon juice, salt and ninja-hot chilli, the next time you have a serious graze. Or have a limb lopped off.
  • Tyre shine that seems to stick to your fingers much, much longer than it actually does on tyres.
D.
 
  Fiesta ST-3
  • s**tbag walking glue-sticks (horses) having the mammoth of all dumps about 3ft in front of my car.
  • s**tbag walking glue-sticks freaking out on the lane for 10 seconds because they've seen a pebble or something. Again, near the car.
  • s**tbag walking glue-stick riders saying "Do you mind putting the hose down - you'll scare the horse." Instantly I wish the hose trigger in my hand was attached to a bolt-gun instead.
  • s**tbag walking glue-stick riders getting extremely close to the car when it's washed. Fcuk off with your equestrian piss-smelling, s**t-dumping, fly-attracting donkeys. Just fcuk off!
  • Pressure in the water pipe blowing off the hose at the tap. FFS!
  • Some weapon nearby deciding to start circular-sawing through house-bricks when I've just got the PC out. Nob!
  • Comments of "I use some Fairy in a bucket - it's never done my cars any harm". Really? Remind me to recommend a Brillo pad, dipped in vinegar, lemon juice, salt and ninja-hot chilli, the next time you have a serious graze. Or have a limb lopped off.
  • Tyre shine that seems to stick to your fingers much, much longer than it actually does on tyres.
D.

This had me in stitches!
 

Hixle

Hi Kiss Luke E****
ClioSport Club Member
  E90 M3
'You've missed a bit.'

Every. Single. Time. FUUUUUUUCKOFF.
 
  Inferno 182
-Bitchy neighbours talking to eachother (when you can blatently hear) saying "is he seriously washing that car again". Yes i am because i dont want my car looking like your shitty rusted up different coloured panels ford galaxy!
-Fly's that just sit on the car after you've washed a bit, you try wipe them away then accidently smear it over the car so you have to wash it again.
-Bird's shitting on it as you're washing it
-Hose getting stuck under tyre
-Tripping over bucket and feeling like an idiot thinking everyone saw it
-Neighbours saying "if you like watching that so much you can wash mine"
-Polishing the car then wiping a bit of water from under the numberplate etc. with it smudging it everywhere
-Having road works or new houses being built right near you house covering your car in dust the day after you've cleaned it
-Noticing more and more stone chips on the bonnet
 
  RB One Eight Two
Dad always says "You'll polish it away if your not careful"

Just after I have finished cleaning, Dad gets the pressure washer out and starts cleaning his Pick up.

When the driver in front of me decides to clean their windscreen when driving into the sun just after I have spent hours cleaning the car. Screenwash spray all over the bonnet and windscreen. FML.
 
Last edited:
  LY 220 Trophy+IB PH1
After hours of cleaning the car, somebody gets out and and slams the door using the pillar on the door with "KFC finger"

Use the door handle c**k !
 
  Lionel Richie
When the jet wash up the road at the petrol station starts bleeping at me and i have to find some more coins, very annoying ;)
 

Coby.

ClioSport Club Member
  XC60-R.......V40-R
Jetwash Fred? I saw you as a drive though car wash guy.... You've changed.
 
  RenaultSport clio 182 mk2
Hose pipe coming off the tap in the back garden when you've managed to
get through the assault course ( or garage ) in the front garden.
Neighbour gassing for two hours and the water in the bucket has frozen or
it has got dark.
F1 starts half way through a cleaning session.
"Can you come & pick me up ?" when wheels are off
Chamois leather dried up into a giant crisp
People stopping,rolling down the window every 5 minutes asking
"where is petrol station ,cash machine,motorway,hotel,village hall
Uncle Freds house ?" BUY A FKING MAP ..I AM BUSY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Getting dark @ 7PM
Wash the other halfs car first so don't get nagged.
Stop @5PM to make everyone dinner
PS I like cleaning the cars it helps me relax :)
 
  Honda & VW
Not only is it the same old annoying comments and "jokes" from neighbours it also winds me up when they hover around for ages watching you at work.
 
Rain.

I'll wash it under a clear azure blue sky with a forecast of nowt but sunshine for the following week but it'll still rain on my freshly washed car within 24 hours. Always. Without fail. Within 24 hours.

It's gotten to the point that if it's raining hard my colleagues ask me if I have washed my car recently.
 
  clio 172
yeah same ! the amout of time i have a neighbour say! there is one over there you can do after! you just kinda fake laugh! I have heard that like over 1000 times and it pisses me off!
 
  Megane r26
the neighbours commenting on the fact i'm cleaning it, an pulling strange faces! it suddenly deciding to rain halfway through polishing and finding new marks or scratchs that you've never noticed before!
 
  R26 + EV0 FQ340
yeah same ! the amout of time i have a neighbour say! there is one over there you can do after! you just kinda fake laugh! I have heard that like over 1000 times and it pisses me off!

My main gripe TBH! It's usually followed up by re marks of, 'If you've got that much time on your hands you can do mine next'. EFFFFFFFF UUUUU!1! I don't have that much free time, I just make time to clean the car where as you choose to lie around the house all day in your dressing gown.

After cleaning and preping the car for a full machine polish and then it start raining is another one. Just our unpredictable weather in general really.
 
How it takes a whole day to do even a half decent job.

How it has now moved on to include when I'm outside tinkering as well as cleaning... "Will you fix my (insert anything remotely car related here) when your done"...
 
Questioning why the lance on the pressure washer is so short and then pulling on it and without fail it'l fall over.
 
Having a black car that will stay clean for about 10mins before getting covered in dust/pollen etc and looking like s**t again
 

Adamm.

ClioSport Club Member
The heat drying it quicker than you can dry it
mid wax and it starts to spit
drying and it starts to spit
bugs getting in the way
water coming out of gaps
and sort of defect expecially new ones
and neighbours that think because you clean your car so often your a free car cleaning service. just no.
but the good always outweighs the bad.
 

Marky_

ClioSport Club Member
  182
There must be a law i don't know about that states:

If a neighbour is washing their car, you must ask them: "Do you want to do mine next?"
 


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