Mk2 Clio dci
Doesn't like doing them, haha what a poor excuse, why fix cars then!
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Funniest Thing You Have Been Told By A Dealer...
- Thread starter y0z2a
- Start date
Doesn't like doing them, haha what a poor excuse, why fix cars then!
Clio 182
Friend of mine bought first Skyline (R34 GTT) in Slovenia. She called on local Nissan stealler:
"Hello! Is this Nissan Krulc dealer?"
"Sure lady, whaddaya want?"
"I'd like to know if you can get me parts for any Nissan"
"Off corse, that's why we are offical Nissan dealer"
"Errr... Any Nissan?"
"Yeah sure."
"I'd like to know few part numbers for Nissan Skyline R34"
"*silence for about half minute*"
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"Errr... Yes. Just a minute! (and calls somebody in office if they have Skyline CD) No, sorry lady we don't have anything for Skyline, can't help you"
"But you said you have!"
"Well I was wrong, sorrry I'm really confused..."
And so on.
And before she even imported it, she called Renault-Nissan Slovenia if they can help her with import problems (something like your MOT...). When she asked about Skyline the lady there asked if she think "that american SUV?".
"Hello! Is this Nissan Krulc dealer?"
"Sure lady, whaddaya want?"
"I'd like to know if you can get me parts for any Nissan"
"Off corse, that's why we are offical Nissan dealer"
"Errr... Any Nissan?"
"Yeah sure."
"I'd like to know few part numbers for Nissan Skyline R34"
"*silence for about half minute*"
"Hello? Are you still there?"
"Errr... Yes. Just a minute! (and calls somebody in office if they have Skyline CD) No, sorry lady we don't have anything for Skyline, can't help you"
"But you said you have!"
"Well I was wrong, sorrry I'm really confused..."
And so on.
And before she even imported it, she called Renault-Nissan Slovenia if they can help her with import problems (something like your MOT...). When she asked about Skyline the lady there asked if she think "that american SUV?".
182 S
Renault derby
Me: Just wondering if you have any r26's for sale
Dealer: r26?
Me: yes please
Dealer: i dont think thats a renault is it
Me: im pretty sure it is
Dealer: hmmmmm... ill just have to check with the manager as im pretty certain renault dont do an R26
..... silly silly boy
Me: Just wondering if you have any r26's for sale
Dealer: r26?
Me: yes please
Dealer: i dont think thats a renault is it
Me: im pretty sure it is
Dealer: hmmmmm... ill just have to check with the manager as im pretty certain renault dont do an R26
..... silly silly boy
RS Megane DCi 175
I was in today to have a looksy at the new Megane (which btw, I'm not sold on!)
Me : Hi, I was just looking at the Meg RS you have outside, do you have an R26 in stock I could see?
Dealer : Err, an R26?
Me : Yeh, it's a ltd edition version of the RS.
Dealer : Oh yeah yeah, the 2.5 litre version!
Me : Err, no - I think maybe you're thinking of the ST. The Meg is a 2.0. Anyway - I'd like perhaps a liquid yellow one?
Dealer : The R26 only came in Blue sir.
Me : Ok, thank you for your time.
Seriously, the guy's arrogance and complete lack of knowledge has put me off Renaults again - reminded me why I went elsewhere the last time I was looking a new car.
Me : Hi, I was just looking at the Meg RS you have outside, do you have an R26 in stock I could see?
Dealer : Err, an R26?
Me : Yeh, it's a ltd edition version of the RS.
Dealer : Oh yeah yeah, the 2.5 litre version!
Me : Err, no - I think maybe you're thinking of the ST. The Meg is a 2.0. Anyway - I'd like perhaps a liquid yellow one?
Dealer : The R26 only came in Blue sir.
Me : Ok, thank you for your time.
Seriously, the guy's arrogance and complete lack of knowledge has put me off Renaults again - reminded me why I went elsewhere the last time I was looking a new car.
Black 'Cup Packed' 197
I was in a "car supermarket" the other week looking for my 197. they had two black 197's in stock, one with the cup pack, recaro's etc etc. (now mine ) one completely standard, both on 57 Reg's.
I went in once, then went back the following week to find the standard car was sold. I asked one of the sales guys:..
Me: "so have you sold the cheaper 197 you had on the forecourt"
Idiot: "Yeh mate sold it last week, but you dont want that one, that was the smaller one. You know the 175.. cheaper/smaller one..."
Me: "yeeeeeaaaahhhh, erm ok." I'll go speak to the other sales guy now... *cough* idiot *cough*
I can forgive the ignorance, but talking that much S**T is damn right insulting!
) one completely standard, both on 57 Reg's. I went in once, then went back the following week to find the standard car was sold. I asked one of the sales guys:..
Me: "so have you sold the cheaper 197 you had on the forecourt"
Idiot: "Yeh mate sold it last week, but you dont want that one, that was the smaller one. You know the 175.. cheaper/smaller one..."
Me: "yeeeeeaaaahhhh, erm ok." I'll go speak to the other sales guy now... *cough* idiot *cough*
I can forgive the ignorance, but talking that much S**T is damn right insulting!
Black 'Cup Packed' 197
1998 BMW e46 323i
Went to Renault Warrington today:
Reno knob: You after parts
Me: Yeah
Reno knob: You'll have to stand there.
Me: Ok, as I move 2 ft further down the counter.
Reno knob: Good morning
Me: Hi mate, I'm after a wheel bolt
Reno knob: Locking...
Me: No, just standard bolt
Reno knob: Registration?
Me: It's a private plate, but *** ***
Reno knob: That's no good, VIN?
Me: Don't know it, and I'm not in the car, but it's a clio 172 2002 ph2 or clio 2.
Reno knob: (Knobs off and comes back with the RT... who guides him through the software...) Is it a clio 1,2 or 3?
Me: 2.
Reno knob: 16 or 17" wheel?
Me: 16
Reno knob: Silver or grey (wheel)
Me: Silver
Reno knob: 17 or 19 mil
Me: 17 I think mate
Reno knob: £4.73 + VAT
Me: Great, you got one in stock?
Reno knob: Well I don't know if you heard me saying, but our systems are down so we can't check stock...
Me: Shall I call later to see if your system's back up?
Reno knob: (Writes down the part number and the main dealer for liverpool's tel number) Maybe you fancy a trip to Liverpool, or Manchester
Me: For a 4 quid wheel bolt?
I just walked out shaking my head...... What's worse is that it all took about 20 mins.
F'kin w@nkers!
Reno knob: You after parts
Me: Yeah
Reno knob: You'll have to stand there.
Me: Ok, as I move 2 ft further down the counter.
Reno knob: Good morning
Me: Hi mate, I'm after a wheel bolt
Reno knob: Locking...
Me: No, just standard bolt
Reno knob: Registration?
Me: It's a private plate, but *** ***
Reno knob: That's no good, VIN?
Me: Don't know it, and I'm not in the car, but it's a clio 172 2002 ph2 or clio 2.
Reno knob: (Knobs off and comes back with the RT... who guides him through the software...) Is it a clio 1,2 or 3?
Me: 2.
Reno knob: 16 or 17" wheel?
Me: 16
Reno knob: Silver or grey (wheel)
Me: Silver
Reno knob: 17 or 19 mil
Me: 17 I think mate
Reno knob: £4.73 + VAT
Me: Great, you got one in stock?
Reno knob: Well I don't know if you heard me saying, but our systems are down so we can't check stock...
Me: Shall I call later to see if your system's back up?
Reno knob: (Writes down the part number and the main dealer for liverpool's tel number) Maybe you fancy a trip to Liverpool, or Manchester
Me: For a 4 quid wheel bolt?
I just walked out shaking my head...... What's worse is that it all took about 20 mins.
F'kin w@nkers!
trust me, we wish it bloody did
in most cases it does, but not all, Renault in their wisdom register some cars on the parts system under the Vin ONLY, which makes it a proper ball ache, and when people go putting private plates on that just makes things worse
john which warrington one did you go to ?, shocked they didnt send you to us at st helens or wigan
in most cases it does, but not all, Renault in their wisdom register some cars on the parts system under the Vin ONLY, which makes it a proper ball ache, and when people go putting private plates on that just makes things worse
john which warrington one did you go to ?, shocked they didnt send you to us at st helens or wigan
The whole registration thing annoys me every time. I bought the car from the dealer, the dealer registered it for me to my private plate, the dealer made the new plates... yet every time I go in there they can't find my car by the plate.
I've given up now and when they ask for my reg I just tell them its a CB22 and they're happy with that lol
They're generally quite good now though, seem to have new staff who do a great job... oh, and if Richard reads this he's pretty good too
I've given up now and when they ask for my reg I just tell them its a CB22 and they're happy with that lol
They're generally quite good now though, seem to have new staff who do a great job... oh, and if Richard reads this he's pretty good too
1998 BMW e46 323i
Renault Main dealers suck balls. Fact. Can't BMW just use your key to get all the info? I went in to BMW to check the recall/update history of my e36 few years back. The girl looked at my key and gave me my reg vin and service history on a print out including dates of all recalls etc. Renault customer services suck!
www.renparts.co.uk
its a 19 btw.
Lotus Exige, 182
Waters Renault St Albans yesterday:
Me: hello, my 182, which I bought from you a couple of years ago, needs a 5 year service shortly, including a cambelt change. Please could you give me a quote.
Service manager (I've met him before, he's actually quite a nice chap): Certainly sir, let me have a look on my system ... that'll be £1,473.73...
Me (unable to believe it): Bl00dy hell. How many hours work is that?
Service Manager: 8.8 hours sir, but I'll need the car for a day and a half... Yes, that does seem a lot. Let me see what I can do with discounts...
Me: I can go to Mark Fish and get it done for half that price...
Service Manager: Genuine Renault parts?
Me: oh yes.
Service Manager: Well, with discounts, that would be £1,178.98
Me: thank's very much, I'll be in touch if I'm interested.
15 minutes conversation with Mark Fish later, including him kindly informing me that as I've only done 30k miles I don't need the spark plugs changed, I'm booked in for 3 weeks time - and it'll be done in a (long) day and cost just over half the quote above!
Cheers Will
Me: hello, my 182, which I bought from you a couple of years ago, needs a 5 year service shortly, including a cambelt change. Please could you give me a quote.
Service manager (I've met him before, he's actually quite a nice chap): Certainly sir, let me have a look on my system ... that'll be £1,473.73...
Me (unable to believe it): Bl00dy hell. How many hours work is that?
Service Manager: 8.8 hours sir, but I'll need the car for a day and a half... Yes, that does seem a lot. Let me see what I can do with discounts...
Me: I can go to Mark Fish and get it done for half that price...
Service Manager: Genuine Renault parts?
Me: oh yes.
Service Manager: Well, with discounts, that would be £1,178.98
Me: thank's very much, I'll be in touch if I'm interested.
15 minutes conversation with Mark Fish later, including him kindly informing me that as I've only done 30k miles I don't need the spark plugs changed, I'm booked in for 3 weeks time - and it'll be done in a (long) day and cost just over half the quote above!
Cheers Will
The whole registration thing annoys me every time. I bought the car from the dealer, the dealer registered it for me to my private plate, the dealer made the new plates... yet every time I go in there they can't find my car by the plate.
I've given up now and when they ask for my reg I just tell them its a CB22 and they're happy with that lol
They're generally quite good now though, seem to have new staff who do a great job... oh, and if Richard reads this he's pretty good too
the parts system is designed and made by Renault, the parts stock/sales, the car sales, and service systems will be whatever software the dealer chooses to use, so not integrated really
and if Richard reads this he's pretty good too
Thank you
I always try my best to help but sometimes I am to busy with my own work to assist.
Clio 182
Just rang up the dealer for a price on 2 front shocks.
The funniest thing was that the price was actually reasonable, I nearly fell off my seat when he said £55.50 inc VAT each. Actually works out cheaper than getting them from k-tec as I don't have to pay for postage. That's the first time I've ever gone to a main dealer (VW and Seat included) and thought that's not bad!
There was another moment that made me chuckle, where he referred to the cup pack as the the extreme option pack.
The funniest thing was that the price was actually reasonable, I nearly fell off my seat when he said £55.50 inc VAT each. Actually works out cheaper than getting them from k-tec as I don't have to pay for postage. That's the first time I've ever gone to a main dealer (VW and Seat included) and thought that's not bad!
There was another moment that made me chuckle, where he referred to the cup pack as the the extreme option pack.
Martin_172
ClioSport Club Member
yeah thats what it lists it on the system, extreme pack, dunno if thats what they call it in france or something
I agree mate, sometimes the Stealers do come up trumps on their prices, I always ask them 1st.
Monaco 53/468
I used to have a Pug 206 and only 2 years old. on fancying a new Golf GTI a few years ago I did the rounds with the VW dealers getting a PX price to change my Pug with a nice new Golf GTI.
On entering Grange Motors ( VW, Aston Martin, Jaguar) in Brentwood Essex the smart salesman in his Armani suit greeted me with the usual "Good day sir, how may I help you"
Me- " I'm interested in PX'ing my Pug 206 for a new Golf GTI, I would like a price to change please"
Armani man " Certainly sir If you give me your car key I'll have a look at the Pug and see what price I can give you, please have a seat and help yourself to coffee or tea as it's a bit chilly outside"
So I help myself to a cup off freshly brewed filter coffee and have a read about the GTI in the brochures.
Armani man comes back to the showroom " Right, I've had a good look round your car and had a chat with the sales manager. Do you have all the service history and mot doc's etc.?"
Me "It's only 18mnths. old. It has a 2 year service regime"
Armani man "I see sir we are prepared to offer you £xxxx in px against a new standard spec GTI plus any options you require"
Me " I was hoping for a bit more, can we do a bit of bargaining" As we all do.
Armani man " Oh no sir, your Pug is a mass produced car and has a fixed value"
Me " In that case i'll sell the Pug privately and maybe come back another time"
Armani man " OK sir, hope to see you again soon"
Me in disbelief at his lack of bargaining skills leaves the showroom.
Two weeks later after selling the Pug privately and £800 better off I return to Grange Motors.
Armani man " Good day sir, how may I help you"
Me " Hi there, I came in a couple of weeks ago and you give a price to PX my Pug 206 against a Golf GTI"
Armani man " Oh yes of course sir. i remember you now"
Me " I've sold the Pug privately so I am still interested in the new handmade Golf GTI"
Armani man " Sorry sir the Golfs are not handmade, only the Aston Martins, can I interest you in the new DB7?"
Me " No mate I don't have Aston money, you did say the Pugs were mass produced so on that basis I assume the Golf's are handmade"
Armani man " I would never say that sir. Do have a car to PX, we can do you some really good deals on PX's"
Me " No, I sold it privately because you wouldn't enter into any bargaining"
Armani man "I'm sure i would not let you go so easily for a sale"
Me " Is there any other salesman I can deal with"
Armani man calls over his colleague " I have an awkward customer here can you deal with him"
Salesman no2 " I'm very sorry sir young George is a bit up himself, he knows nothing about cars, he used to sell antiques"
Trust me to find one like George. Anyway Salesman no2 was really helpful and I eventually bought my GTI with a few free extras thrown in the deal.
On entering Grange Motors ( VW, Aston Martin, Jaguar) in Brentwood Essex the smart salesman in his Armani suit greeted me with the usual "Good day sir, how may I help you"
Me- " I'm interested in PX'ing my Pug 206 for a new Golf GTI, I would like a price to change please"
Armani man " Certainly sir If you give me your car key I'll have a look at the Pug and see what price I can give you, please have a seat and help yourself to coffee or tea as it's a bit chilly outside"
So I help myself to a cup off freshly brewed filter coffee and have a read about the GTI in the brochures.
Armani man comes back to the showroom " Right, I've had a good look round your car and had a chat with the sales manager. Do you have all the service history and mot doc's etc.?"
Me "It's only 18mnths. old. It has a 2 year service regime"
Armani man "I see sir we are prepared to offer you £xxxx in px against a new standard spec GTI plus any options you require"
Me " I was hoping for a bit more, can we do a bit of bargaining" As we all do.
Armani man " Oh no sir, your Pug is a mass produced car and has a fixed value"
Me " In that case i'll sell the Pug privately and maybe come back another time"
Armani man " OK sir, hope to see you again soon"
Me in disbelief at his lack of bargaining skills leaves the showroom.
Two weeks later after selling the Pug privately and £800 better off I return to Grange Motors.
Armani man " Good day sir, how may I help you"
Me " Hi there, I came in a couple of weeks ago and you give a price to PX my Pug 206 against a Golf GTI"
Armani man " Oh yes of course sir. i remember you now"
Me " I've sold the Pug privately so I am still interested in the new handmade Golf GTI"
Armani man " Sorry sir the Golfs are not handmade, only the Aston Martins, can I interest you in the new DB7?"
Me " No mate I don't have Aston money, you did say the Pugs were mass produced so on that basis I assume the Golf's are handmade"
Armani man " I would never say that sir. Do have a car to PX, we can do you some really good deals on PX's"
Me " No, I sold it privately because you wouldn't enter into any bargaining"
Armani man "I'm sure i would not let you go so easily for a sale"
Me " Is there any other salesman I can deal with"
Armani man calls over his colleague " I have an awkward customer here can you deal with him"
Salesman no2 " I'm very sorry sir young George is a bit up himself, he knows nothing about cars, he used to sell antiques"
Trust me to find one like George. Anyway Salesman no2 was really helpful and I eventually bought my GTI with a few free extras thrown in the deal.
Went to the Scrappage King to look at a LY R27 and was told that I would be the baddest boy racer in town also that this was one of only 20 in this colour. I had to put him right and inform him that they had in fact sold 140 Ly R27s and it was the most popular colour choice for the R27s.
Renault Wimbledon Accident & Repair Centre today...
"Can I be honest with you? We have never had this sort of problem before, your car is jinxed Sir and you should sell it."
Big thanks to Andy @ RSport for helping me out and for agreeing to do the job properly! I wouldn't go back to Renault Wimbledon Accident & Repair if they paid me. Well, I went back today but only for a refund!
"Can I be honest with you? We have never had this sort of problem before, your car is jinxed Sir and you should sell it."
Big thanks to Andy @ RSport for helping me out and for agreeing to do the job properly! I wouldn't go back to Renault Wimbledon Accident & Repair if they paid me. Well, I went back today but only for a refund!
Mini Cooper S
A guy I spoke to on the phone from Renault London East started cracking out a load of jokes, was on the phone for 15 minutes. Only wanted to find out how much a service was and when it was due. The bloke was hilarious! Called Daniel. Spoke about adopting dogs, asking if I like rabbits. Coming out with loads of jokes. Couldn't stop laughing!!
when i decided to change my seat ibiza fr my heart was set on getting a corsa vxr arctic, so went down the local vauxhall garage to test drive a vxr. After helping the salesman clear out his car of babyseat gym bag and all his rubbish, we started test drive.
Vauxhall man: so what other cars have you looked at
Me: i havnt really i have been set on a vxr for months, but ive heard the clio 200 is pretty good
Vauxhall man: yeh i prefer the clio 200 to the vxr, goes better
me: ok then well i think im done here, going to go to renault now!
Was gobsmacked how did he get that job, he sold me a renault effectivley HAHA
Vauxhall man: so what other cars have you looked at
Me: i havnt really i have been set on a vxr for months, but ive heard the clio 200 is pretty good
Vauxhall man: yeh i prefer the clio 200 to the vxr, goes better
me: ok then well i think im done here, going to go to renault now!
Was gobsmacked how did he get that job, he sold me a renault effectivley HAHA
jenic
ClioSport Club Member
Similar thing happened to my mum at Renault.
Went to have a look at a new clio a few years back and the salesman asked what she had at the moment. She told him it was a micra and he went off on one saying how reliable they are and how the clio will be no where near as reliable.
Great salesman, she didn't buy one after that
I work in a dealership and some of the things customers say to me is unreal!!!
me : can i take your reg and we will get the car back in
customer : **laughs** i knew you were going to ask me that.... no sorry i dont.
well if you fu&*%ng knew then why didnt you get it?
or its
customer : ehh no i dont have the reg but its the blue one my husband drives the black one. <<<<<that narrows it down to say 1 million cars in britian!
or when i bought my 54 plate corsa 1.4sri from macharcs in glasgow the salesman said
"i read somwhere these little corsa keep up with the 911turbo"
my dad then went
"is that right? **laughs** aww you salesman do talk some amount of pish"
like i said i have thousands more stories lol
me : can i take your reg and we will get the car back in
customer : **laughs** i knew you were going to ask me that.... no sorry i dont.
well if you fu&*%ng knew then why didnt you get it?
or its
customer : ehh no i dont have the reg but its the blue one my husband drives the black one. <<<<<that narrows it down to say 1 million cars in britian!
or when i bought my 54 plate corsa 1.4sri from macharcs in glasgow the salesman said
"i read somwhere these little corsa keep up with the 911turbo"
my dad then went
"is that right? **laughs** aww you salesman do talk some amount of pish"
like i said i have thousands more stories lol
Once went into a VW Garage looking for a Polo for the wife.
Snooty ar$e when asked if he could do a deal on a Polo said to "Oh no - we find that the Polo pretty much sells itself"
Me to tw@t "Well it's not selling itself to me" - Went next door and got a Fiesta :rasp:
Chav Rocket
they are so stupid. went in one day for parts and the guy was telling me how williams have suede dash's
wtf?
Addz
ClioSport Club Member
Trophy, TVR Tamora
When i had my first clio a brand new 1.2 i went to renault to enquire about its first service, i was told i could only use their filters and bits otherwise it would invalidate the warranty..
I then asked them why they use the place where i work to buy filters off as i'd booked out service items the day before for a same year/spec car.
He chap looked a bit embarrased but said he couldnt help me out and sorry. :S
I then asked them why they use the place where i work to buy filters off as i'd booked out service items the day before for a same year/spec car.
He chap looked a bit embarrased but said he couldnt help me out and sorry. :S
Dad looked at the new subaru legacy today, looking inside and at the space in the back with the seats down.
Dealer brags "We've just had 2 orders from the local undertakers for these in black"
We left very quickly.
Dealer brags "We've just had 2 orders from the local undertakers for these in black"
We left very quickly.
On a similar note me and my mate broke down on the M6 about 10 years ago on the way to max power live :S got to a service area and the AA man turned up looked around he car for ages then told us the turbo must of blew up. Its a 1.4 corsa sport we laughed so hard he took a huff and called his mate to come sort it out.
(turned out the cat had sh@t its pants)
(turned out the cat had sh@t its pants)
Right, this is relation to my wifes Punto which has now been to the same garage twice.
The problem, when turning left there is a funny noise, like metal grating.
First time we got this "We've topped up the power steering fluid, bring it back next week and we'll have a look".
This week "Sorry I think you need a new pump, it's empty again".
My wife then googled the problem to see if it's common (good girl) - IT'S AN ELECTRIC f**king PUMP. Have to ask, where has this fluid been going. My wife, who is a typical woman (good at tripping people up and awesome in arguments) is getting a call back on Monday which will be a price for the pump. Should be entertaining.
The problem, when turning left there is a funny noise, like metal grating.
First time we got this "We've topped up the power steering fluid, bring it back next week and we'll have a look".
This week "Sorry I think you need a new pump, it's empty again".
My wife then googled the problem to see if it's common (good girl) - IT'S AN ELECTRIC f**king PUMP. Have to ask, where has this fluid been going. My wife, who is a typical woman (good at tripping people up and awesome in arguments) is getting a call back on Monday which will be a price for the pump. Should be entertaining.
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